


stargazing in your eyes

by vexedtonightmare



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Blow Jobs, Clothed Sex, Edging, M/M, POV First Person, POV Ikari Shinji, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, aged up you freaks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:41:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29109477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexedtonightmare/pseuds/vexedtonightmare
Summary: Shinji finds himself stargazing with Kaworu, that has something really important to say to him... and show him too.Set somewhere during 3.33.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	stargazing in your eyes

There was nobody but us awake this late at night at the now destroyed Nerv's headquarters.

Everything was in ruins.

Everything enveloped in an unnatural silence and darkness, our faces barely lit by the stars shining above us.

And a pale full moon watching over us. Pale like the color of his skin.

I never felt like this before, my heart beating so fast, a warm feeling inside my chest as I feel my cheeks heating up.

Is this what people feel when a person they like is laying right next to them?

We've been stargazing for hours on end. I liked to hear Kaworu talk about music and stars ... and us.

Now we were just hearing each other's breaths while we gazed at the sky.

We've been spending weeks together, wandering through the dilapidated building, listening to music on my old cassette player, he's been teaching me how to play the piano. Every time I'm with him, I feel like I'm in a bubble: I can feel at ease, warm inside, wanted. Nothing like I feel on the ordinary.

When our fingers happen to touch while we play the piano together, it's like I got hit by thunder, feeling electric all over. Sometimes staying alone in my room is overwhelming and I start to think too much.

His door is always unlocked and he never complains when I slither inside his room late at night. Sometimes we enjoy our company in silence, sometimes we talk till the sun is about to rise. But we've never been this close together except the times we were playing the piano. This time it felt different, much more intimate.

"Thank you for inviting me here to watch the stars together.", he says to me.

I was startled by hearing his soft voice. When did Kaworu get closer??

Our eyes interlock for what seemed to last forever, his crimson irises reflecting in my blue ones, his smile beautiful and bright in this dark night. He's laying on his side.

"I-I thought you could like it and well... there isn't much to do here right now anyway..."

My cheeks are definitely burning up. I hope he doesn't notice. What would he think of me?

"Shinji Ikari, I want you to know something" he now approaches even closer than before, almost closing the tiny gap between our chests.

I can smell his sweet scent, I wonder if his lips taste sweet too.

"I really was born to meet you."

My heart is now going crazy, my mind as well. What did it all mean? It didn't make sense. How could someone as good as Kaworu possibly have been born just to meet me? I'm nothing special.

"In other words, I love you."

Now I must be dreaming. I should pinch my arm, cause nobody ever said those words to me, _ever_. This cannot be true.

The distance between us now it's zero. I feel the warmth of his body so close to mine, hovering over me, his hand lingering just slightly above my right arm, traveling around and stopping on my shoulder. My body is shaking the moment his fingertips touch it. I am definitely not dreaming.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, he softly giggles.

"May I...?" I instantly know what he's talking about but I can't really bring myself to speak so I just nod with my head and instantly a soft pair of lips is on mine, taking it slow.

I feel lightheaded, and without really thinking I embrace him in a hug. Kaworu seems to like it cause he makes a small pleased sound while his lips are still on mine. After a while, we separate to catch our breaths and I open my eyes.

His smile always present.

"So tell me, did you like it?"

With my face probably even redder than it was before, I stutter " D-did I like it? Well... Yes, I did like it. I liked it so much"

"Then do you want it to do it again?"

".... Yes"

"Now _you_ kiss me."

I see the want in his eyes while he towers over me, one knee between my legs.

I decide to be impulsive for once and quickly grab his face with both my hands and start to kiss him again.

At first, it's just lips against lips, nothing much more than that. But then I daringly make his lips open a bit more and put in a little bit of tongue. I've never done this before. What happened with Asuka was nothing more than our chappy lips touching. It felt awkward and nobody wanted that.

This was something else. I was feeling good. A warm and tight feeling was starting to grow in between my legs, stronger. My pants started feeling way too tight. I wonder if he's feeling like that too. Our kisses started to be more passionate, both of us catching a breath every now and then, my hands combing his soft silver hair, our lips wet with saliva, our bodies hotter and hotter.

A moan escapes my mouth and I suddenly stop the kissing, too embarrassed to go on. I cover my face with my hands. My god, I am such a mess. He giggles

"That was very cute, don't be embarrassed. There's no need to be. Nobody's watching us." his pale cheeks are now of a slight pink in contrast white his skin's natural color.

"Actually... I would love to hear that sound again. Can I? Would you do it for me?" he's always so careful to not overstep my boundaries, it leaves me breathless. Carefully he removes my hands from my face and crouches over my neck, starting to kiss there softly, huffing and whimpering, then he starts to nibble and suck in the spot just a little bit underneath my ear.

A jolt of pleasure runs through my body and I moan again, I try not to be too loud but it's very hard not to.

My body arches under his touch and the pressure of his knee on my crotch when I shift positions makes me ecstatic.

His hands are now under my shirt, hot with lust. I keep thrusting myself upwards to feel that weight in between my legs and I am losing control. Kaworu seems much more collected than me, as always.

Then, suddenly, he makes me take a sitting position and sit on my lap, facing me.

He's hard just like me, I can feel it as well as see the bulge through his tight black pants.

A mischievous grin forms on his face.

"Shinji, do you want to take it a step further? Let me make you be happy for a while." He says to me in a mellifluous tone.

Yes, yes, yes, I tell him, desperation in my voice. Everything you want, as long as it's with you.

He slowly unbuckles my belt and slides it out of my pants and unbuckles them too. Then he gently grabs my hands and loosely ties them behind my back with the belt. I kinda get nervous cause I don't really know what he's about to do, and I voice my concerns to him.

"W-What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna make you feel really good. Do you trust me?"

I think about it for a while, but in the end, there's no way I shouldn't. I nod affirmatively. He plants another deep kiss on my lips then starts to palm me through my pants with one hand, which has been restricting me for way too long, and keeps me closer to him with the other one on my back.

I grind on his hand to get more friction while he whispers kind words into my ear.

"Shinji you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen right now. Oh, if only you could see yourself with my eyes, you'd see it too."

My breath is starting to get heavy, and my hard-on is still unsatisfied.

As if Kaworu was reading my mind he puts his hand inside my underwear and loosely grabs my member, stroking it very slowly; his soft touch making me whimper and tremble. I hear myself calling his name multiple times, desperate and eager for him to never stop whatever he was doing.

"You're being so good, Shinji. Are you enjoying this? Do you want me to go on?"

" _Yes, pleas_ e" I beg him. His movements are so slow that it's almost painful, I wish he would grab me faster and faster. Instead, he removes his hands from where it was before, wet from a whole lot of precum that leaked in the meantime, and puts the index and the middle finger in my mouth, teasingly, while he grinds on me. I lick them and taste myself. It feels forbidden and naughty. But I have to admit I like that.

My train of thoughts is interrupted by whimpers and tiny pleasing sounds that Kaworu is making. He's so beautiful in this light, he looks ethereal, nobody would suspect his deep desires.

And then he stops. I groan and sob from the sudden lack of movement, my member pulsating.

"K-Kaworu... I don't know how much... how much I can... "

"Now, will you do something for me? " Kaworu whispers softly in my ear. The answer is always yes, how could it be otherwise. He looks a bit embarrassed too.

"Would you-- take me in your mouth? It's okay if you don't want too though."

"I want to!" I almost yell. This still feels like in a dream.

Standing on his knees, propping himself up very close to my face with his lower body, he unbuckles his pants, while I get myself back to the position I was before. My back is hurting a bit from staying in this position for what seems an eternity but I'll get to that later. Painkillers exist for a reason. I'll get some from the old infirmary room.

Kaworu's soft and messy silver hair backlit by the light of the moon makes him look like a literal angel, the kind you see portrayed in old Italian paintings.

His slender fingers reveal his erect member. I don't want to make him wait any further, without hesitation I take him all him my mouth, almost gagging at first.

Then as I get to used the sensation, I bob my head up and down swirling my tongue all around it.

His moaning turns me on even more than I already am, but I can't satisfy my needs because I am unable to use my hands to get myself off. I am afraid that at this rate I will cum without even touching myself. _That_ would be embarrassing.

I keep taking him, deep, then I experimentally lick his balls, sucking a little bit on them, before getting him back into my mouth.

"God, Shinji you're so good... I'm close-" he says to me, gasping, almost without breath; his hands in my sweaty and messy hair, pulling my face closer to his body, my head feeling a little bit dizzy. He thrusts into my mouth and I know he's about to come; I suck hard for the last time before I feel his come going down my throat. It's warm and sticky, a little bit salty too. Kaworu's body is trembling over me, his knees weak, leaving him to fall softly over my body. 

"Thank you Shinji, you're truly incredible. " I blush so hard to all the praise that he's given me this far and because never in my thoughts I had wondered I was able to be this bold with another boy.

"Now... let me continue to take care of you..." he says to me, cleaning my mouth with his thumb looking me in the eyes.

Without breaking eye contact he gets in between my legs and swiftly grabs me by the hips, raising my lower body and making my back lie down on the floor.

"... You've been waiting enough, but you know... I've heard that the more you wait, the better you'll feel. And I want you to feel the best, Shinji." I shiver with anticipation, looking forward to Kaworu's slender hands crashing on my skin.

And when it does happen I cannot hold back, my mouth making the most obscene sounds while I call his name.

Kaworu's soft hot hand jerks me off with slow movements, humming endlessly sweet words at me, while with the other one he touches himself.

"Fuck, Kaworu, keep going, please" instead, his attention shifts to my thigh, which was now getting stroked.

"Can you wait a little more for me?"

"I'm at my limit... I don't know how much I will last... Hh-hh"

After a while Kaworu licks his fingers and decides to come back to my member, playing with the tip, doing small circles on it, sending me on another planet. Maybe what he said about waiting wasn't a lie just to tease me, I never felt such a strong pleasure before. He was pretty worked up too, he got hard again.

"Shinji, let's finish together" with both hands now he envelopes us together, stroking faster. We are both panting, I thrust into his hands bucking up with my hips, this is the best I've ever felt both because I'm with the person I love and because that same person is making me feel all kinds of good ways.

"Kaworu--" I barely can say his name one last time before my body shakes all over and I see white. He too comes seconds after me. My cum is all over my pants and his hands, mixed with his, thick and white, and a whole lot of it.

I don't even have a second to catch my breath, Kaworu smirks and grabs me by the hips lifting me up just as he says "Time to return the favor" and licks all around my member before putting it in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down, taking me deep and oh god, _sucking so hard_. His mouth makes wet sounds and I feel the vibrations of him humming pleased while I'm down his throat.

Half lidded he looks at me; it didn't take much for me to come again this time and he swallows without batting an eye, licking his lips when he's done.

After a long deep kiss, we both disentangle, Kaworu unties my hands before we pull up our underwear and zip up our pants.

We should probably get a shower but I'm way too tired and I think he is too. That's a thought for tomorrow morning, along with getting something for my back. I mentally note that.

We both lay on the ground, Kaworu looking at me with the most dreamy eyes. I lose myself in the bright crimson of his irises.

He sweetly caresses my face "I had the most beautiful night of my life thanks to you. I'm really glad our paths were meant to cross."

"Kaworu... Thank you for making me learn how it feels to be loved by somebody. I thought that was never meant to happen"

"Our destiny is bind together. I promise you I will make sure to make you happy and never lose the smile on your face, Shinji. You deserve to be loved"

This time, I crawl into his arms and we fall asleep, together, with the stars and the moon still watching over us.

I feel at peace, for once.

I am able to love and be loved.

_I am deserving of love._

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting a fic here!   
> every comment is appreciated uvu   
> hope you liked it!  
> sometimes you gotta be self-indulgent a write yourself a 2k+ smut fic. these are hard times, we gotta cope.   
> also I'm sorry if there's anything wrong in the writing, English is not my first language!   
> this fic has been sitting for a while in my drafts, I've been really conflicted about posting it or not but in the end I decided to challenge myself.   
> (also um well sorry I can't really make myself to choose good titles)


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